Monday, October 29, 2007

Big Dog Playgroup, or not thinking

Ike continues his love affair with Baxter, the black lab. He also seriously considered playing with Niche who was REALLY trying to get Ike to play. Hooray!

Today reminded me that I HAVE to listen when the little voice in my head says it might be wise for Ike and I to leave. When I do not listen is when things go wrong and often times, like tonight, it's my fault!

At the end of big dog playgroup Lisa went to get Ryan and bring him in. Ike hates puppies. I leashed Ike and considered scooping him up and putting him in the car. I didn't. Aaack. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Ryan came over, Ike went charging and I pulled back and up essentially hanging Ike. Yeah, nice, huh? I feel like a complete *ss.

It was a complete regression. I am in the midst of being extremely pissed off at myself for not paying attention to the inner voice. I'm not sure how long it will take me to get over being angry with myself and I am not sure how far I set Ike back in his hate of puppies. Well, I certainly reinforced it, that's for sure. Like I said, STUPID!

And to top it off I stopped at Foxboro Animal Hospital on the way home to weigh Ike. Katrin said she thought he looked fatter, well he is!! He has gained a pound and a half. meanwhile he is only getting 3 ounces of meat a day. Argh! I think I should have stayed in bed today. Tomorrow I am getting up early and using my light box (for SAD).


Katrin said...

NO, it was NOT a complete regression! It was NOT even a partial regression. It was a mistake. A human error. As I'm told repeadely, "we're all human!" (and no, it hasn't sunk into my head either, I just repeat it, and hope that someday it might) Our dogs make mistakes. We forgive them. Try to do yourself the same courtesey.

A complete regression would be if you had hung him, as you did, then decided "well that got him to stop being a brat, finally. Hmm, maybe I should go back to that form of training, it seems to get results!"

A partial regression would have been had you not realized that what you did was incorrect, not fair to Ike, etc or you had tried to justify/excuse what you had done.

Did you do that? Noooo. Did you even THINK that? Noooo.

It is fine to be angry at yourself for the short term, just try not to beat yourself up over it for too long. It isn't healthy, again so I'm told, I suck at that point too.

Like I told you tonight. Is it good that it happned? No. But it is GOOD that you recognize that it is a problem, and will work really hard to change your behavior and how you manage such sitations in the future.

Katrin said...

And you are NOT a horrible person!

JULES & IKE said...

Ugh. I do feel a wee bit better. I still fill like a ____ (your choice - I am liking toad).

But I am getting better at the game of mental "Leave it!"

Thanks, Katrin.